The Heartbreak

my wonderful week

2009-11-07T00:11:00.000-08:00

'last' week.

i can really state, it's our last week.

he did everything. he had been so sweet. that was all i ever wanted.......

he surprised me. he said he loves me. he promised that i'll be the one. he loves me i knew it. and i felt it......

that was all i ever dreamt to experience again since we've been.......... since we've been into many conflicts.

but some say that having conflicts gives room for us to grow.

i know that culture differences isn't a big problem if love really prevails.

i'm willing to change everything for him....

he may have not noticed but i really changed a lot for him. because i loved him.

because i've set my life.... my future with him..

thinking of how our kids would look like.

thinking of how he will be a good husband to me.....

thinking of how we would still share our love even at our 60's...

but i would just have to forget. because it wont happen. it will never. not anymore

and how will i accept the fact that he gave this wonderful week to me, just because he wanted to make me happy before he leaves and move on to his life.

after 8 months..........

2009-11-07T00:07:00.000-08:00

my dreams had fallen. had been crushed. had died.

yet, we decided to both stay in touch.

no commitment. yes, no commitment. but we're still the same person who's deeply in love.

i hug him. i kiss him. i cuddle him. nothing has changed.

but i know, i've been to demanding...... and maybe he felt as if he's being tied tight.

i wish i knew it earlier. so that he won't feel the urge to leave me. to get away. to move away....

for 2 months we're bestfriends. i loved the feeling... he cared. he loved me. i knew he did.

reminiscing.......

2009-11-06T23:33:00.000-08:00

twas already more than a year since i've known this guy.... i prefer to call him "V".

it's still clear and vivid in my mind how i met and fell in love with this guy......

i'm living in a co-ed dormitory. well, at first i was really not interested in having a relationship with a dormmate.. however, the dorm manager managed to introduce us to each other. being not interested i haven't noticed him.
days passed... i eat alone in the canteen... i always see him there either watching tv, bonding with his friends or studying.. gosh, since i've noticed how he indulges himself in studying and focusing on his school works made him gain extra points! effortless though.
still, i dont have the guts to talk to him to get to know him better. and for that matter both of us are commited to a relationship.
my boyfriend and i that time was "on-the-rocks"..... and soon enough we broke up. as usual, shattered heart.. preparing to move on.
V for that matter seemed to be happy with his girlfriend whom he met eversince highschool..
but destiny brought us closer... i often notice that we are wearing the same color..... though it was not planned. one time, i joked around with my friends. i told them, "if today he's wearing the same color of my shirt, we raelly are soulmates!" AND GUESS WHAT. within an hour my roommate shouted "brown!!!" and i freaked out. hysterical. happy. a feeling that i couldn't explain. shocked to see that i'm in brown too!
haha. i just remember how adrenaline rushed through my bloodstreams. and everytime i see him, i can't look straight to him. we are often seated side by side in a computer shop, but i can't manage to stay longer because probably i'll melt....
til one day, we just found ourselves texting each other... and sneaking up to the roof top. exchanging stories... laughs... secrets... aw. i can't forget those nights. where i also wished days would turn to nights.... i'd even trade my sleeping hours just to be with him.....

and rest is history.......... love started.

getting started...

2009-11-06T23:29:00.000-08:00

woah. this is my first time to blog about heart problems i encountered lately...

bear with me because i'm still not over him....